I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
