Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
