He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
