He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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