I'm really into asian looking animals
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
My feet surprised me
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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