I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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