You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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