God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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