me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
My pussy is not your playground.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
