Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize