haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
