i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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