So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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