thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
