none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
