so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
