Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
