just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
