They should really pass out barf bags in church
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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