please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
