Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
