he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize