found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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