How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
