talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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