How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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