I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize