love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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