Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
