oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
