i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
we made out on top of his cat.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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