i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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