She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
