I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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