"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I checked into jail on foursquare
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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