i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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