shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
