wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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