I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
