I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I fill condoms, not promises.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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