every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
