so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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