She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Randomize
