Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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