we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
