i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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