Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
