Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
