Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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