five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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