I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
