The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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