If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
