This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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