I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
where are my eyebrows?
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