I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
