what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
