just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
