So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
True college students do jello shots in the library
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