Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize