Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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