Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
