I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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