She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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