Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
