I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
