NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
