thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
