the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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